Aren't we to edify one another, in all things?

On my last post, I posed some questions about when and how to confront other women about the issue of submission. First, I want to point out that submission of a wife to her husband is not my idea; it is God’s plan and command. Colossians 4:18 says, “Wives submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord”. That is just one of many verses in the Bible that states wives are to submit to their husbands. There aren’t any verses that state it is up to the wife to choose whether or not she wants to, it is a command from God. Yes, the husband and wife can decide between themselves what this means in their own marriage. I do believe that even if the couple has agreed the wife can have a good deal of “say so” in their marriage, there is a respectful way of doing so and a disrespectful way. Wives should always choose the respectful way, always! I also don’t believe it should become a big discussion in front of the children; this only causes them to question their father’s authority. I also believe that the husband has the final authority and the wife should accept his decision with a right attitude.

As for risking a friendship, I believe that if we are truly friends and we are both Christians, this should not be a cause for ending a friendship. The Bible says we are to exhort and edify our brothers and sisters in Christ. This means I am to encourage her to follow the word of God, in this area as well as all other areas. If I was not following God’s word in my life, I would expect my sisters in Christ to gently and lovingly point out my errors. (Which has happened by the way and did not end the friendship.) This is why fellowship with other believers is so important; it helps us to stay true to God’s word in our walks by their wisdom and encouragement. True friends should be able to talk about areas such as this without worrying about causing dissention or hard feelings. I wouldn’t go to her harshly and just lash into her with what I believe; I would gently tell her I am concerned that she isn’t following the word of God in this area and it troubles me. I think we should be able to discuss it openly and honestly. If not, then I don’t believe we are truly friends at all, perhaps acquaintances instead.

Blessings,
Rashel

A question (or two) for you

Okay, my dear friends, I have a question(s) for you. If you are around another woman and she is obviously not being submissive to her husband, how do you handle it? Perhaps she is retelling a story that has happened and it is apparent she was not submissive in that instance, would you say anything? I am speaking about a woman that professes to be a born again Christian, not a stranger or someone in the world. What if you know from past experiences that this woman is not submissive to her husband in many areas? Or, what if you are with a group of ladies that are discussing many topics and a few of the ladies voice their opinions that are clearly not respectful or submissive to their husbands, do you speak up? If you do say something, how do you say something tactfully and lovingly without sounding judgemental or condemning? Yes, these instances have happened to me recently and I thought it would be good to discuss them.

I also had an instance at church this past Sunday where I had the chance to speak up to a young bride about being submissive. She was sitting, waiting for church to begin and her husband came over and whispered something to her. I knew from her attitude and what she said that he wanted her to move somewhere else and she didn't want to move. I looked back at her, cupped my mouth with my hands and whispered "submission Jane" (name changed for obvious reasons). She sighed, made a little remark and then got up and moved to where her husband had asked her to sit. No, she may not have been submissive in her heart but I did cause her to at least consider her actions.

Is it our responsibility, as Christian women, to call out these women when it is obvious they are not following scripture? What do you think?

Blessings,
Rashel

A few questions for discussion

I really, really want your opinions on this post. I want us to discuss submission. No, I don't want to discuss whether or not we are to submit, that is stated clearly in the Bible. We are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. I do have a couple of areas I want you to think about though. What if there is something you really want to do, but your husband isn't thrilled about it? He tells you, "yes, you can do it", but you know in your heart he would rather you not. He is simply trying to be kind and loving and allowing you to have your way. So, my question is this: If you go ahead and do it, are you truly being submissive? Or are you looking out for your own interests?

Here is another one. What if there are things around the house that you know your husband prefers done in a certain way, yet you do them your own way or do not really give a thought to how they are done, if done at all? Is that being unsubmissive? Now, I am not talking about the days that we just are truly busy and some things don't get taken care of, that happens sometimes. I am speaking of the things that you just don't really give much thought to how your husband would prefer for it to be done.

Okay, one more. There are certain things that your husband entrusts to you, for example it may be homeschooling, paying bills or just running the home in general. He doesn't give you a set of specific rules or check your performance each night, he just trusts you to do the best that you can do in these areas. So, if you are slacking in an area he has entrusted to you and you are not doing your very best, are you being unsubmissive?

I know that I have been guilty of all of the above at one time or another, so don't be hanging your head if I have hit a nerve here. I just want us to think about these things and discuss them to help us to be the best helpmeets we can be for our husbands.

Modest dress was only the beginning

Dear ladies,
I wanted to share a few things with you about the conviction God has placed on my heart regarding modesty. Some of you may know some of this from posts on my other blog but I want to share it with those just joining this walk and maybe tell the rest of you something new. God first started convicting me about modesty earlier this spring, around March/April 2007 so I prayed about it and studied the word. I discussed it with my dh and I prayed some more. Finally, the Lord showed me that He wanted me to dress modestly and the best way for me to be modest was by wearing long skirts or dresses, as well as modest tops. I again spoke to dh about it and while he didn't feel it was a command for women to wear skirts/dresses only, he did feel it was a command for women to dress modestly. He said if I felt led to wears skirts only, he was okay with that and we agreed he would tell me if there were outfits he didn't like or made me look "frumpy". I still wanted to look nice, just modestly so. Well, I went on a mission to find skirts for me and my daughter. I did find several without having to spend alot of money as it was garage sale season around here at the time. I tried going skirts only but found many reasons, or should I say excuses, for not staying strong in my conviction. I used excuses like the weather or feeling like I would be "out of place" at certain events and such. I can admit now however, that was only my selfish, world pleasing flesh that was fighting my spirit. When it came down to it, I was afraid of what people would think if I went to skirts only. Why did I care? Wasn't I to be pleasing God not man? Finally the first of September, God was convicting me once again and stronger than before. I made the commitment to skirts only (out of the house) and I have been strong in that walk since. I have realized a few things along this walk that I hadn't even considered before. I realized that by following God in His leading in this area, it was almost like a test of my submission to Him. If I was willing to submit in this area, it would help me to submit in other areas, as well as to my husband. I also realized that wearing skirts only wasn't about following some rule set forth but it was about me following God's leading in this area. God led me to this place in my walk and it was up to me to follow Him. He may not lead everyone in this way but it is my responsibility to follow the leading He put before me. Since I have gone to skirts only, I have felt a closeness to Him that I didn't have before but before you say anything, let me explain. My closeness to Him is not because I am wearing a skirt, instead it is because I chose to submit to Him. Wearing skirts is simply the area of my life that He decided to convict me in, this time. Wearing skirts only has also shown me that I am to dress in such a way that is pleasing to God not the world. I am not to stand before my closet and choose my clothing for the day according to what the world says looks good, but according to what pleases God. This has taken a huge burden from me, I no longer have to live up to the world's standard, worrying about the latest fad or coolest fashions. Don't get me wrong, I don't dress like a bum without a care in the world, I am still a reflection of the Lord and His light is too shine through me but I don't have to dress in today's fashions either. I can dress modestly while still having a nice, clean appearance and that is what I strive for. God has shown me, through my submission in this area, many other areas that I should be striving to please Him and not man. I will share them with you but please know that I am not saying everyone has to follow the way I have chosen, you are to seek God's will in your own life.

One of the other areas was in regards to makeup, my belief on wearing makeup is that it is only covering the face that God gave me and in turn saying to Him that He didn't do a good enough job and I need to fix it. Now remember, this is only where I am in my walk, we are all at different places along the path and I am no further than you, nor are you further than me. I am however, further now than I was before and I think that is what should be our ultimate goal, furthering ourselves in our own walk. To me wearing makeup is something I did to please the world, to make my self prettier in the eyes of those around me. I believe God thinks I am beautiful without makeup, how could He not since He is my creator! Let me also say that dh is fine with me not wearing makeup, he doesn't care one way or the other. If he did want me to wear makeup, then I would out of submission to him, luckily, I don't have that issue. This holds true for all of the things I am discussing, I would submit to my husbands preference in any of these areas as long as he was not asking me to sin.

Another area, which is similar to the makeup issue, is coloring my hair. I choose not to color my hair because it would be saying to God that I didn't like the color he chose for me and I could do better. Once again, dh doesn't care either way. In my own mind, if I colored my hair it would be for fleshly reasons, trying to please the world and make myself pretty in the world's eye. I seek to please God in all areas of my life, not the world.

One area I don't think I have talked much about is our home. We have a very small home according to today's standards, it is 900 sq ft. Alot of people have commented that they just don't understand how we do it. It is called contentment, being content with where God has placed us. We are blessed to have our home and our land, we love living in the country. Yes, I would like a larger home, so would dh but we don't covet bigger homes and we don't complain and whine about the one we have. I think that is another worldly, fleshly desire - to believe we must have a big fancy home to be comfortable. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything wrong with having a big house, if that is God's will for you. We are talking about adding on right now, but we won't do so without God's leading. Our plan 5 years ago was to build a bigger home, God just hasn't led us in that way yet. Yes, we could have taken out a loan and built a home but we didn't feel led to do that. Submitting to God in all things is what our aim should be.

God isn't finished with me yet, there are many areas in which I need his guidance. However, the more I seek Him and I mean honestly seek Him with an open heart and ears to listen, the more He reveals to me. I love the feeling I have when I draw near to Him, when I spend time with Him and seek His ways. I am so thankful that He has never forsaken me and let me tell you there have been many times that I have forsaken Him, yet His grace and forgiveness is new and abundant each day. Praise God for that!!

A couple more things, by submitting to God in these areas, it has made it easier to submit to my husband as well. God is showing me that by submitting to my dh, I am submitting to Him. One of the best blessings that I have received since wearing skirts only was a new friendship!! A sweet and wonderful lady came up to me one Sunday at church and told me I had been a blessing to her by wearing skirts and dressing modestly and that was the start of a wonderful and blessed friendship. God knew I needed the encouragement to continue in my walk and He knew we would be a blessing to each other. God is such an awesome God!

I encourage you to seek God's will in your life and ask Him how you can submit fully to Him. I encourage you to question each area of your life and see if you are striving to please Him or please the world.

Being our husband's helpmeet

I know there may be single women reading this and you may think that this does not pertain to you, however I believe it does. God may have plans for you to marry at some time in your life and you will need to know what His word says about being a helpmeet for your future husband. Genesis 2:18 says, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." This ladies is why woman was created, to be an help meet to man, specifically our husbands. I recently read "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl and I highly recommend this book. She has such great advice and I didn't find any of it to be unbiblical. Ladies, let me tell you that this is an area I struggle in daily.