Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A question (or two) for you

Okay, my dear friends, I have a question(s) for you. If you are around another woman and she is obviously not being submissive to her husband, how do you handle it? Perhaps she is retelling a story that has happened and it is apparent she was not submissive in that instance, would you say anything? I am speaking about a woman that professes to be a born again Christian, not a stranger or someone in the world. What if you know from past experiences that this woman is not submissive to her husband in many areas? Or, what if you are with a group of ladies that are discussing many topics and a few of the ladies voice their opinions that are clearly not respectful or submissive to their husbands, do you speak up? If you do say something, how do you say something tactfully and lovingly without sounding judgemental or condemning? Yes, these instances have happened to me recently and I thought it would be good to discuss them.

I also had an instance at church this past Sunday where I had the chance to speak up to a young bride about being submissive. She was sitting, waiting for church to begin and her husband came over and whispered something to her. I knew from her attitude and what she said that he wanted her to move somewhere else and she didn't want to move. I looked back at her, cupped my mouth with my hands and whispered "submission Jane" (name changed for obvious reasons). She sighed, made a little remark and then got up and moved to where her husband had asked her to sit. No, she may not have been submissive in her heart but I did cause her to at least consider her actions.

Is it our responsibility, as Christian women, to call out these women when it is obvious they are not following scripture? What do you think?



  1. The sad part is we ladies have grown up to think the word submission to a man is degrading and a dirty word, when what do women do who work outside the home do, they submit to bosses, who seem to take them away from their hubbies and children.

    For me choosing to serve is the best part of submission because when I choose to lovingly do that I get blessed with the pleasure of seeing my husband and children be taken care of....

  2. First I want to say that I really like this blog and your questions; I welcome this kind of honesty. So thank you!

    Now to your question(s). I do feel very strongly that we (women) need to encourage each other in our submission to God and our own husbands. This is uncharted territory for so many of us, that to not shore each other up the way that our sisters of olden times would have been by mothers and sister and aunts and neighbors makes an already difficult situation, harder.
    I think that the question is how? Unfortunately I am very familiar with the scenarios that you describe in the first paragraph, not too long ago I was one of them. I half expected to hear that she would not be receptive to your advice. It was a pleasant surprise to find that I was wrong. :-)

    I have said to some people, 'Please don't say that', or bowed out of conversations that were disrespectful of or to their husbands. When God has allowed I have addressed the issue (I can only think of one time when that was allowed to happen).
    well, that's all I can say for now, thanks for the opportunity! It was fun - please feel free to visit my blog, it's new and I'd love any advice I can get.

    I'm at:

    God Bless,

  3. I just can't believe you would chance losing a friend. Can you not just agree to disagree. You believe what you do and let her believe what she does. Some people feel they are equal in a marriage and they do not have to submit to their husband as you do. We all interpret the Bible in a different way. How do you think we got all the different types of religions. God gave us freewill to interpret his word. You feel that you should submit on all levels with your husband, they on the other hand feel their marriage works for them. As long as her and her husband agree with the way they live works for them, let them be.

  4. If I might, I'd like to respond to lil' Sis.

    First off, I have to ask: have you heard Christians speaking disrespectfully of each other?

    Lil' Sis, that is what we're speaking of here. Yes, some of us have been impressed that the men of this country have not been honored in the way that they ought to be, and out of love for our God, husbands, sons and brothers in Christ, strive to treat all men with the respect that is due them, but that is not the point. We disrespect God when we disrespect each other; that is the point. And, just as we want to be respectful of ALL, being a good example of love to the world, how much more loving do we want to be as we represent our marriage to the world.

    This is something that is almost a treasured scar on my heart, lil' Sis. I want to be told 'well done good and faithful servant', so in all things I submit , because I am a servant to my God. My husband and I are one, but to see him stand knowing that "he's the man"; WOW! Conversely, how many times have we seen men stripped of that God given right to 'be the man'? And how much more awful when it's done by the woman they've chose to spend their life with; wow, I just want to grieve.

    I could sit here and go on about how every woman wants to be treasured and esteemed as beautiful. And how wonderful it makes me feel that my husband honors me above all women. How his love makes me feel like all the princesses I read about as a child, and then some. Or, I could speak of how submission isn't mind numbing servitude, but instead a beautiful give and take because it is voluntary. These precious parts and pieces of our inheritance are there for all.

    I am sorry that I don't have the words to show you what I see, I wish I did, but then God would not get the glory. I pray that I have honored Him here and that you will not be offended.

    God Bless,