Taking My Thoughts Captive

Sometimes I have trouble controlling my thoughts. 

Honestly, there are times my thoughts control me. 

Someone does something that irritates me and my mind will replay the event over and over, each time it grows just a little bit. Each time I add another negative thought about that person, something else they have done in the past that irritated me. Or maybe I think I know what they were thinking when they did that "thing" that irritated me to start with.

Wrong. 

It is all so wrong. I am wrong.

First of all, other people and things should not irritate me.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:5, love is not irritable. I am called to love, therefore, I am not to be irritable.

Second, I am not to bring up things of the past. Love does not keep a record of wrongs.

God has been speaking to me about this sin in my life and given me verses to help me. Obviously 1 Corinthians 13 is one of them, but here is another:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

I've been studying this verse hard lately and trying my best to practice it. Instead of allowing my thoughts to go to the negative, I will think of something positive about the situation or the person. I will think of something I know to be true instead of just what I think is true. 

Memorizing and recalling this verse has helped me stop and think about situations instead of just reacting to them. It has helped me be more positive instead of critical and negative. 

It has helped me take my thoughts captive.

The other verse Jesus has laid upon my heart is 1 Peter 4:8, "love covers a multitude of sins."  This verse is huge. 

I think I'll save my thoughts on this for another day, but just ponder that verse for a moment.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

Really, honestly, the cure to almost every problem we have is

love!

Blessings,

Rashel

A quarrelsome wife

I was reading today's Proverb and thought I should share these two verses. 

Proverbs 21:9, 19 NLT

(9) It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. 
(19) It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.

I think God is trying to tell us something and if He feels the need to say it twice in one Proverb, we must need to really hear it. We are not our husband's conscience nor are we his mother, so let's not act like it. Let's make certain we are encouraging, not criticizing. Let's make sure we are letting him be who God created him to be, not trying to make him into our twin. Our husbands have their own ways of doing things and that's okay; not everything has to be done just the way WE want it. I pray we are not quarrelsome or complaining wives.

Blessings, 
Rashel

Becoming Superwoman #2

Yesterday we talked about becoming a superwoman and put a little different spin on it than the way most people think of a superwoman. If you missed that post, please go here to read it as I'm not going to take time today to explain the details.

We listed many areas we could work on to become a super woman but today we are going to discuss being joyful. 

Becoming a SuperWoman

There are many articles and posts written telling us we can never be a superwoman and we shouldn't even try. We are told it is an unrealistic goal that will only make us feel guilty when we are unable to obtain it. 

Do you believe that? Do you think striving to be a superwoman is unrealistic?

Or do you think that should be our goal?

I think before we answer those questions we should ask one of our own.

Are you a dripping wife?

Rain can be a wonderful thing, watering our gardens and filling our ponds. It can bring life to things that are drying out and dying. On the other hand, too much rain can bring destructive flooding and destroy whatever it is in its path. Then there are times we have a nice gentle rain that is soothing and wonderful to listen to until we hear that annoying drip, drip, drip from our roof onto that tin can below. You know that drip, it is constant and becomes increasingly obnoxious.

No one wants to listen to that sound for very long.

The Untamable Tongue

My time this weekend is being spent enjoying my family so I wanted to share an older post of mine with you. I have enjoyed reading back over some of my old posts and this topic is one that I have to revisit often. I pray you are encouraged as you read it.
My dear sisters in Christ, I have such trouble in this area. I am ashamed to say that I have been known to yell at my children, more than once I might add. I am getting better and my children are helping me by reminding me that I said I wouldn't yell anymore. There are so many areas that can be affected by our tongues; our marriages, our children and our friendships to name a few.

James 3:8-10, “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”
Proverbs 16:24, “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”
Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be seasoned with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
So what can we learn from these verses dear sisters? Do you remember the nursery rhyme sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, that is so untrue. Words can hurt and the hurt can last for a very long time. I have a tape of Lisa Welchel and she tells a story of a little boy that would say hurtful things and his parents decided for every one he said, he would have to drive a nail into a board. After awhile his words and attitude changed and he was able to start pulling the nails for each day he could go without saying something hurtful. When he was all finished, his dad took him to the fence and showed him the holes that were left by the nails and explained to him that our words are like those nails. While the nail might be gone, the damage is still there. I thought that was a great illustration of how our words can affect others. Now, I may have gotten a few details of the story wrong since it has been awhile, but you get the idea. If you look back up at the James 3 reference, you will see it says our tongues are full of deadly poison. Deadly poison, those are strong words aren’t they? Poison is something destructive or harmful and to think my words can be compared to that saddens me. However, there is hope! With Jesus, my words can be like honeycomb and sweetness to the soul. My speech can actually be health to the bones. It can be a tree of life and turn away wrath. Isn’t that a glorious picture? So my dear sisters, my question to you now is how can we learn to tame our tongues, always? I will try to list a few ways and then I would love for you to share how you manage this little evil in our mouths.

1. Prayer is the most important thing I have done to control my tongue. I pray God would help me to speak softly and lovingly.
2. Listen before speaking. If I take the time to listen to what the problem is, I can usually answer with a softer voice than if I just jump in without consideration of the issue at hand.
3. Think before speaking, duh right? Sometime this isn’t easy for me but I try to stop, take a deep breath and think about how I should answer each one.
4. Whisper when you feel the urge to yell. This one is hard for me to remember but I have heard this many times.

Okay, 4 is all you get today because I want to hear your ideas!!

Bad attitudes - in mom and the children

I will admit that lately we have been struggling with bad attitudes in our home, mine and the children's. I have been praying about it, reading the Word and my children have been writing scripture verses, but it isn't improving as much as I would like. Now don't get me wrong, it isn't that every word out of our mouths is hateful and we aren't at each other's throats constantly but our attitudes are poor and our speech is not always kind. I want us to be looking for ways to do good to others and that our speech would be edifying - so far that isn't happening.

Also, I have really been convicted lately that I am not joyful as the Bible says I am to be. God is working on me in that area because I tend to let my circumstances and other people's attitudes effect my own instead of consistently being joyful, as God says I should be. I am working on it, really I am but it doesn't change overnight. Not for me anyway. I will continue to pray, to read His word and to memorize scriptures that pertain to this area. I will try very hard to think before I react and to remember how God would have me to be.

Do you struggle in these areas? Surely I am not alone in this. How do you handle poor attitudes or speech in your home - either with yourself or your children?  I would love to hear your ideas and suggestions.

Blessings to each of you,
Rashel

Me Just Being Me

This idea keeps coming to my mind, I just need to be me. It's like God is reminding me over and over, just be yourself. He whispers in my ear, "I made you the way you are, why are you fighting it?"  He is encouraging me that I don't have to keep up with all the other women in this world and they don't have to keep up with me. You don't have to keep up with them or me. You are free to be yourself.

Women can find such encouragement from the Duggars, the Phillips and many other well known Christian families, but your family may never look like their families. So, why do you allow yourself to believe you are not living up to the standards those families "seem" to set? I believe that if you were able to sit down with Michelle Duggar and have a heart to heart with her, she wouldn't want you to compare yourself to her, or compare your family to hers. She wouldn't expect you to have as many children as she does or speak in the soft, sweet voice in which she speaks. You aren't her. God made each one of us different. Romans 12 reminds us we each have different gifts and we are to use those gifts the best we can, not long for other gifts or qualities. We are to rejoice in how God has created us, knowing that God does not make mistakes.

This side of Heaven, none of us are perfect. There are areas you struggle with and you realize you need to work on those, but that does not mean you are a failure. It does not mean that because you have a different way of doing things than other women that your way is wrong. Your style is your own, it was given to you by God. Rejoice in your individuality, in every detail about yourself that God specifically created just for you. Pause for a moment, close your eyes and thank Him for making you just the way you are....................

Now, remember those weak areas you have, those are the things you can improve upon. You can learn from other women that are strong in those areas. You can get ideas, glean from their knowledge and learn from their mistakes. But remember, you are not those women! You do not have to do every single thing they do or do it the way they do it. Just take bits and pieces, little nuggets that will help you to improve in those areas that you are weak in. See what works for you and throw out the rest. Most of all, ask God to give you wisdom in those areas before you start seeking wisdom from other women. Rely on His nudgings in those areas and then seek the encouragement of other Godly women.

Blessings my friends,
Rashel

Do my children know I like them?

I've been pondering this for a few weeks now, do my children really know that I like them, not just love them? Do I take time to show them that I enjoy being with them? Do I show them that I care about their likes and their dreams? Or am I too busy with my everyday routine of life that I don't take time to actually be with them.

Recently we had some friends visit that we had not seen in quite awhile. We love this family and really enjoy spending time together, we just had not made that time in far too long. Anywhoo, the mother of this family is such an encouragement to me. We are very like minded in several areas, which is rare around these parts. Just watching her with her family, you can tell that she truly adores each and every one of them. Her face radiates love for them. Her gentleness shows them affection and compassion, even while disciplining them. Just by being near her I was challenged to wonder if I am that way toward my family. I don't believe I am. I was convicted in my heart and I have been purposing to make it a priority to show my family that I truly adore them, that I truly love being with them and that they are a joy to me. I must control my temper, I must soften my voice and I must smile at them frequently. It is important that I take the time to play what they want to play, that I look at them and listen when they are talking to me and that I remember they have feelings too.

I challenge you to look at your own heart and your responses to your children. Do they know that you like them? Do you adore them and show it?  I know that I was not, but it isn't too late.

Blessings,
Rashel



Revisited and linked up on February 19, 2014

Confessions and God's lesson

 I have to confess something to you. My house was a total mess this morning. We have been so busy lately and running here and there that I just haven't had time to keep up with chores let alone follow our schedule. I am working on trying to get our activities limited, but I can't change it overnight. Things should settle down after Friday because that is our last "extra" thing but we still have alot going on. I won't bore you with all of the details of our busy life because I'm sure you all have your own things that keep you running but I want to share something that came to me this morning. I was really feeling unworthy this morning as I was writing my daily challenge for the ABC's of a Godly Home since I was sitting in the middle of a chaotic mess. Let me describe my chaos to you for just a moment; clean dishes on the counter to put away, dirty dishes in the sink to wash, a major hotspot on my kitchen table, clean clothes piled on the couch to put away, a mountain of dirty clothes in the bathroom to wash and I don't even want to tell you how dirty my floors were! That is in addition to clutter scattered about and shoes left in about every room. Are you getting the picture? It wasn't pretty. So I'm thinking to myself that I have no business encouraging you in how to make a godly home when I can't even keep my own home clean and that is when God spoke to my heart. This challenge isn't just about getting a clean home, it is about our attitudes and our hearts as well. And do you know what? My attitude toward my husband and my children has been so much better since starting this challenge that it is okay if my house occasionally becomes CHAOS. We don't live in a state of chaos and it doesn't take us long to get things back in order when it happens. My home is a godly home because we love God and because we are doing our best to live according to His will. I know that His will is that my heart is toward my husband and children. It is His will that my speech be helpful not hurtful. It is His will that I be a godly example to those around me. It is those things that make a godly home, not how clean my home is. Although, it's hard to practice hospitality in chaos. So while a clean and orderly home is important, it is not the total picture. I pray that you are learning that through the ABC's challenge. I do pray that your home will become orderly and comfortably clean for you and your family but my main prayer is that you will learn to love and enjoy your family more as you draw nearer to God.
So, what does my home look like right now? Because I had my daily lists in place and my children had their room chore lists, we all knew what we had to get accomplished and we got busy. In a short time my laundry piles have diminished greatly, the dishes are washed, the clutter picked up and floors swept. Is it perfect? No, but it is liveable now. We still have some cleaning chores I want to get done today but at least our home is now in order if company were to come by. AND I kept my speech loving and my heart attitude right in the process. So be encouraged my friends, days will come when we don't have time to keep our schedules and your home may suffer but what is important is to keep your heart and attitude reflecting God.

Blessings my friends,
Rashel

Is your tongue full of poison?

*This is a post I originally posted in November 2007, but it is still so relevant today that I wanted to share it again. I needed this reminder as I still struggle in this area. I hope you enjoy it and are encouraged by it.
___________________________

My dear sisters in Christ, I have such trouble in this area. I am ashamed to say that I have been known to yell at my children, more than once I might add. I am getting better and my children are helping me by reminding me that I said I wouldn’t yell anymore. There are so many areas that can be affected by our tongues; our marriages, our children and our friendships to name a few.

James 3:8-10, “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”

Proverbs 16:24, “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”

Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be seasoned with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

So what can we learn from these verses dear sisters? Do you remember the nursery rhyme sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, that is so untrue. Words can hurt and the hurt can last for a very long time. I have a tape of Lisa Welchel and she tells a story of a little boy that would say hurtful things and his parents decided for every one he said, he would have to drive a nail into a board. After awhile his words and attitude changed and he was able to start pulling the nails for each day he could go without saying something hurtful. When he was all finished, his dad took him to the fence and showed him the holes that were left by the nails and explained to him that our words are like those nails. While the nail might be gone, the damage is still there. I thought that was a great illustration of how our words can affect others. Now, I may have gotten a few details of the story wrong since it has been awhile, but you get the idea.
If you look back up at the James 3 reference, you will see it says our tongues are full of deadly poison. Deadly poison, those are strong words aren’t they? Poison is something destructive or harmful and to think my words can be compared to that saddens me. However, there is hope! With Jesus, my words can be like honeycomb and sweetness to the soul. My speech can actually be health to the bones. It can be a tree of life and turn away wrath. Isn’t that a glorious picture?
So my dear sisters, my question to you now is how can we learn to tame our tongues, always? I will try to list a few ways and then I would love for you to share how you manage this little evil in our mouths.

1. Prayer is the most important thing I have done to control my tongue. I pray God would help me to speak softly and lovingly.

2. Listen before speaking. If I take the time to listen to what the problem is, I can usually answer with a softer voice than if I just jump in without consideration of the issue at hand.

3. Think before speaking, duh right? Sometime this isn’t easy for me but I try to stop, take a deep breath and think about how I should answer each one.

4. Whisper when you feel the urge to yell. This one is hard for me to remember but I have heard this many times.

Okay, 4 is all you get today because I want to hear your ideas!!

Mirror Mirror on the wall....

Or should I say, mirror mirror walking around my home. I have noticed on multiple occasions that my children mirror my attitude. Sometimes I'm a little slow and I will start noticing their pitiful attitudes and wonder where in the world my sweet darlings have gone. Then it hits me over the head like a ton of bricks, my sweet attitude has gone MIA as well and most likely it is holding their attitudes hostage. If Mama becomes grumpy, the children become grumpy. If Mama becomes lazy, the children become lazy. Oh how hard that is to admit sometimes.
Of course, it does work the other way as well. If Mama is cheerful, it helps the young uns to be cheerful. If Mama is working hard around the home, it encourages the little ones to do the same. Last but not least, if Mama has a critical attitude of Daddy, so will the children. Mamas, let us be careful in our attitudes and in our speech, lest we lead our little ones astray.

So, what is the reflection in your mirror telling you?

Blessings,
Rashel

It just makes me cringe.........

Nope, I'm not talking about spiders or creepy crawlies. I am talking about when I hear another woman speaking badly about her husband in public. Oh, it just breaks my heart! I feel sorry for the husband and embarrassed for the wife. Doesn't she know what she is doing, how she is tearing down not only her husband but her marriage as well? Ephesians 5:33b tells us "and let the wife see that she respects her husband." I know, I know, we have been over this before but it is such a problem in today's world that I feel the need to discuss it again. We, as Christian wives, need to make sure we are following God's will in our role as a wife. We need to make sure our hearts, minds and attitudes are pleasing to Him. You can read another post about reverencing your husband in my archives from November 2007. If you are truly respecting your husband, you will not let one single negative word spill forth from your mouth. NOT ONE SINGLE ONE!! If you are truly being submissive, you would stand behind the decisions he makes, supporting him 100%. You wouldn't condemn them to your girlfriends later! Ladies, this is so important that we be mindful of our tongues and our hearts. If your heart is right in these matters, your tongue will follow. We need to consider how our husbands would feel if he heard us criticizing him to our girlfriends, would he be edified and lifted up or would he feel hurt and betrayed? Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Not only are you (we) tearing down our husbands when we speak negatively about him, but what about those we are talking to? How are we making them feel or what are we making them think? If they are single, are you representing marriage as the blessing God intended it to be? If they are married, are you giving her the impression it is okay to criticize and tear down her husband? Think about this: let's say you talk badly about your husband to your girlfriend, then she in turn talks badly about her husband and he finds out. He feels hurt and disrespected, she builds up anger and strife. They start arguing and their marriage goes down hill and ends in divorce, all because you spoke negatively about your own husband to her. Hmm, that is not something I would want to be responsible for, would you? What if your children over hear you? Oh my, the damage that can be done from that, causing your children to doubt and disrespect their father. Maybe they may will disrespect you for speaking in such a way about their father?
Ladies, I urge you to carefully consider your words and your heart. Are you harboring ill feelings toward your husband that my spill out of your mouth? Picture your heart as a cup, it fills up to the brim with whatever is being poured in and eventually will overflow, your mouth is your overflow valve from your heart. Make sure your heart is right and full of love, ask God for His help if you are having trouble in this area. Pray that He would show you if you are wrong in this area. Pray He would fill you overflowing with love and respect for your husband. Then CHOOSE to love him and respect him, no matter if you agree with him or not.

Blessings to you my dear friends,
Rashel


Revisited and linked up on February 10, 2014

Taming the tongue

Hi ladies,
This is a very hard subject for me. I tend to have days when I struggle greatly in this area and today happens to be one of those days. I have realized the problem today and I am trying hard to control my tongue and praying. Now, I don't mean that I am just yelling and screaming at my children, but I am not talking to them in a loving and encouraging manner either. I do believe it rubs off on my children as well, when I talk in an unloving manner, so do they.

So, my challenge to myself and to you today is to make sure our words are edifying and loving to those around us. Do our words build them up or tear them down?

If you think about it, will you pray for me in this area today?
Blessings,
Rashel