Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Untamable Tongue

My time this weekend is being spent enjoying my family so I wanted to share an older post of mine with you. I have enjoyed reading back over some of my old posts and this topic is one that I have to revisit often. I pray you are encouraged as you read it.
My dear sisters in Christ, I have such trouble in this area. I am ashamed to say that I have been known to yell at my children, more than once I might add. I am getting better and my children are helping me by reminding me that I said I wouldn't yell anymore. There are so many areas that can be affected by our tongues; our marriages, our children and our friendships to name a few.

James 3:8-10, “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”
Proverbs 16:24, “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”
Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be seasoned with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
So what can we learn from these verses dear sisters? Do you remember the nursery rhyme sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, that is so untrue. Words can hurt and the hurt can last for a very long time. I have a tape of Lisa Welchel and she tells a story of a little boy that would say hurtful things and his parents decided for every one he said, he would have to drive a nail into a board. After awhile his words and attitude changed and he was able to start pulling the nails for each day he could go without saying something hurtful. When he was all finished, his dad took him to the fence and showed him the holes that were left by the nails and explained to him that our words are like those nails. While the nail might be gone, the damage is still there. I thought that was a great illustration of how our words can affect others. Now, I may have gotten a few details of the story wrong since it has been awhile, but you get the idea. If you look back up at the James 3 reference, you will see it says our tongues are full of deadly poison. Deadly poison, those are strong words aren’t they? Poison is something destructive or harmful and to think my words can be compared to that saddens me. However, there is hope! With Jesus, my words can be like honeycomb and sweetness to the soul. My speech can actually be health to the bones. It can be a tree of life and turn away wrath. Isn’t that a glorious picture? So my dear sisters, my question to you now is how can we learn to tame our tongues, always? I will try to list a few ways and then I would love for you to share how you manage this little evil in our mouths.

1. Prayer is the most important thing I have done to control my tongue. I pray God would help me to speak softly and lovingly.
2. Listen before speaking. If I take the time to listen to what the problem is, I can usually answer with a softer voice than if I just jump in without consideration of the issue at hand.
3. Think before speaking, duh right? Sometime this isn’t easy for me but I try to stop, take a deep breath and think about how I should answer each one.
4. Whisper when you feel the urge to yell. This one is hard for me to remember but I have heard this many times.

Okay, 4 is all you get today because I want to hear your ideas!!


  1. RichlyBlessedMomof4November 20, 2007 at 8:45 AM

    My favorite passage of scripure reguarding my speech (that the Holy Spirit gently reminds me of each time I lose my temper-(which is more often than it should be)) is:
    I Peter 3:1-4 but especially in verse 4- (I'm sure you are familiar with): ...but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."
    There is NO WAY I can possibly demonstrate a gentle and quiet spirit if I am raising my voice or losing my temper-
    Thank you again, Rashel, for the gentle toe-stepping reminder that I needed!
    I will be mindful of my tounge today!
    Bless you, sister!

  2. Ooohh, I like that one too. Thank you for sharing it. However, I am having a hard time picturing you losing your temper...I have never seen it before, nothing even close. I take comfort knowing that I am not the only one that struggles in this area.

  3. Friend, you are not alone. I also struggle in this area. I was not brought up in a home where kind words were spoken. It has been a very hard habit for me to break. The Lord has GREATLY changed me in this area, but I can see how far I still have to go. Love this post! Thank you for sharing! :) I also do the *whisper instead of yell* thing. It works pretty well for me a lot of the time...but sometimes my whispers are still little viperous words. I know that The Lord will finish this work in me, but sometimes I feel like it might be forever....

    1. I too am a work in progress, for sure!! Just last night I said harsh words instead of responding gently and lovingly, I had to repent after God convicted my heart. I am so thankful for the Lord's grace and mercy, I need it daily in many areas. Thank you for sharing with me!