Monday, February 11, 2008

It just makes me cringe.........

Nope, I'm not talking about spiders or creepy crawlies. I am talking about when I hear another woman speaking badly about her husband in public. Oh, it just breaks my heart! I feel sorry for the husband and embarrassed for the wife. Doesn't she know what she is doing, how she is tearing down not only her husband but her marriage as well? Ephesians 5:33b tells us "and let the wife see that she respects her husband." I know, I know, we have been over this before but it is such a problem in today's world that I feel the need to discuss it again. We, as Christian wives, need to make sure we are following God's will in our role as a wife. We need to make sure our hearts, minds and attitudes are pleasing to Him. You can read another post about reverencing your husband in my archives from November 2007. If you are truly respecting your husband, you will not let one single negative word spill forth from your mouth. NOT ONE SINGLE ONE!! If you are truly being submissive, you would stand behind the decisions he makes, supporting him 100%. You wouldn't condemn them to your girlfriends later! Ladies, this is so important that we be mindful of our tongues and our hearts. If your heart is right in these matters, your tongue will follow. We need to consider how our husbands would feel if he heard us criticizing him to our girlfriends, would he be edified and lifted up or would he feel hurt and betrayed? Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Not only are you (we) tearing down our husbands when we speak negatively about him, but what about those we are talking to? How are we making them feel or what are we making them think? If they are single, are you representing marriage as the blessing God intended it to be? If they are married, are you giving her the impression it is okay to criticize and tear down her husband? Think about this: let's say you talk badly about your husband to your girlfriend, then she in turn talks badly about her husband and he finds out. He feels hurt and disrespected, she builds up anger and strife. They start arguing and their marriage goes down hill and ends in divorce, all because you spoke negatively about your own husband to her. Hmm, that is not something I would want to be responsible for, would you? What if your children over hear you? Oh my, the damage that can be done from that, causing your children to doubt and disrespect their father. Maybe they may will disrespect you for speaking in such a way about their father?
Ladies, I urge you to carefully consider your words and your heart. Are you harboring ill feelings toward your husband that my spill out of your mouth? Picture your heart as a cup, it fills up to the brim with whatever is being poured in and eventually will overflow, your mouth is your overflow valve from your heart. Make sure your heart is right and full of love, ask God for His help if you are having trouble in this area. Pray that He would show you if you are wrong in this area. Pray He would fill you overflowing with love and respect for your husband. Then CHOOSE to love him and respect him, no matter if you agree with him or not.

Blessings to you my dear friends,
Rashel


Revisited and linked up on February 10, 2014


marriage mondays







11 comments:

  1. I have been dealing with a lady who has been my friend for some time who is doing this very thing. She makes fun of her husband and puts him down in front of everyone. I won't say that I haven't stumbled in this area myself before, but she enjoys putting her husband down and it just breaks my heart. Thanks so much for sharing this. Blessings, sara

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  2. Sara,
    I too have struggled with this in the past, hopefully I am not unknowingly still doing it. None of us are perfect and if we stumble in this area, we should repent and ask our husbands forgiveness. It is hard when dealing with friends in this area, I know that very well. I struggle with holding them accountable in a loving, gentle way. I am going to try to be more bold about this though because I feel it is so important. If I hear someone I know doing this, I am going to try very hard to have the boldness to pull her aside and gently and lovingly rebuke her using scripture. That word sounds harsh but I believe it is the right one, please correct me if I am wrong. It is so sad that your friend does this very willingly and enjoys it, so very sad. I encourage you to pray for her and also to pray that God would show you if He would have you to confront her about it or not and give you the words to do it.
    Blessings to you my friend,
    Rashel

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  3. I don't believe in accidents so I know God lead me to find this page. I was looking up decluttering and was let to your site. I thank God for you! Your a true inspiration! Someone I feel is a God fearing woman with a tender heart that is true to God's word. I too feel the same way you do about this subject. In todays society I often feel alone and am considered an outcast. Most women today think they should run the household and I truely know by Gods word that is so untrue. Alot of my family is lost so I pray for god to open their eyes and save them. I just wanted to let you know you blessed my heart and thank you for being a light in this dark world.

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  4. Belinda,
    I am so happy that you are enjoying this blog and that you are being encouraged. That is exactly why I started this blog!! It is sometimes hard to find Biblical encouragement in the world, so you are welcome here anytime and please comment when you can. I love to know I am not just talking to myself here. :)
    Blessings my friend,
    Rashel

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  5. All I can say is AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!!!!
    It hurts my heart deeply to hear women talk in any way negatively about their husbands, but it is even sadder to hear them insult or disrespect their spouses to their/ in front of their children. It leaves a lasting impression- Lord, please help us to guard our mouths, AND think before we speak!!!
    Bless you for sharing- what I truly believe is from GOd's heart!

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  6. It saddens me when I hear women downing their husbands - I look at it as homeownership. Marriage is like a house - The man brings the house - but the woman determines what it looks like through how she dresses it up - with her words and actions - if she doesn't like how it looks, maybe she should change her words!

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  7. Thank you for sharing, that is such an interesting way to look at it! So true, our words are so powerful.
    Blessings,
    Rashel

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  8. It's good to be reminded to be building my husband up with my words, not tearing him down - especially in front of others! May I encourage my husband with my tongue!

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  9. Tracey, it is a reminder that I need often so that I do not fall back into that bad habit. I pray the Lord helps you to remember to use your words to bless your husband. Thank you for stopping by!
    Rashel

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  10. This was a Fabulous post! Every wife needs to read it! Thanks for posting and for linking up with Marriage Monday!

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    1. Thank you for hosting Marriage Monday, it is an excellent topic that we all need encouragement in!
      Blessings,
      Rashel

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