An issue I would like to address regarding being our husband’s help meet is respect. The KJV of Ephesians 5:33b states, “and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Reverence means a feeling of deep respect and respect as a noun means a favorable opinion, honor, admiration; as a verb it means to regard, value or look up to.
When I first read the definition of respect as meaning a favorable opinion, my thought was that if I am truly honoring God’s word at all times then I am never to have a bad opinion of my husband. I am never to loose my admiration of him, therefore I looked up admiration. Admiration is a feeling of pleasure, wonder, respect and approval caused by something good or beautiful. Next came the definition of honor; special respect, a sign of someone’s excellence or worth. Okay let’s try to rephrase Ephesians 5:33b using these definitions just for a moment: “and the wife see that she have a feeling of deep respect and favorable opinion for her husband, along with a feeling of wonder and approval of his excellence and worth.” Wow, does that put it into a new light for you? It does for me because although I have always known this verse and always tried to show my respect for my husband, I see it a little differently now. I understand that I am to have a strong belief in my husband (strong belief is the definition of opinion) and his excellence and worth. I am to have a feeling of pleasure and wonder toward him. I am to look up to him and value him.
So, I was thinking about how we can reverence our husbands in practical ways. Here are a few ideas and then please share any other ideas you may have. (Please know that I am speaking to myself as well as all of you)
1. Never doubt him. We should never question his ability in anything, including childcare. Yes, this one can be hard for us mommas because we think mommas know best, right? Well, just because Daddy does it differently, it doesn’t make it wrong. A lot of times when I relax, step back and watch my husband do something that I would normally take care of with the children, the children are enjoying their Daddy. Daddy tends to make certain things more fun than momma does. They need time with their Daddy’s and they need to know we respect and believe in him, and then they will too.
2. Never question him in front of anyone, especially the children. If we have a serious concern about something, we can lovingly discuss it in private at the appropriate time. If we question him in front of our children, they will learn to doubt him and lose respect and trust in him. If we question him in front of other adults, especially other males, we are destroying his confidence and making him look weak or inferior in front of his peers.
3. We can compliment him and let him know we appreciate him. If he does something for you, no matter how small and no matter whether you think he should have done it two days ago, thank him for it. Let him know that you noticed and that you are grateful for his efforts or his contribution.
4. We can show him we value him in other ways as well. How about making sure his favorite drink is in the fridge, cold and ready for him (for mine that is Pepsi or lemonade). How about fixing his favorite meal for supper and making sure not to fix something you know he dislikes? Does he have favorite snacks you can keep around the house? Does he have clean underwear and socks in his drawers? Yes, I am being very practical here, but these things are important too. Do you need to iron his shirts and have those ready before he needs them? Have you asked him how you can help him around the house, what you can do to make it comfortable for him at home?
5. Okay ladies, this one gets personal but it is very important to most men. How is your love life? Does he feel needed in this area? Does he know you are attracted to him or does he feel that you are just doing your duty as a wife? The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4 “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (NKJV) So that should tell you that you don’t have the right to deny your husband of his physical needs, unless there is some physical reason you have both discussed and agreed upon. But I offer to you that instead of just allowing things to happen, your husband will fill needed and admired if you were to make the first moves and show him your affections without him having to ask.
Okay, there are 5 practical ways to reverence, respect, honor and admire our husbands. Will you share some of your ideas with us as well? I know RichlyBlessedMomof4 has already shared a bit on this on another comment but I am sure we can all share more on this topic.
revisited and linked up to Marriage Monday February 10, 2014