Friday, January 22, 2016

There is No Perfect Way

There is so much I want to write, so much on my heart, that I don’t really know what to say. It’s as if I have no words to accurately describe the emotion in my heart and mind. I feel as if I can’t express it adequately – but I will try, because it is so important, so vital.

I see so many women struggling in life – struggling in every area of life: marriage, motherhood, homemaking, business woman, child of God, everything. They seem to be always searching for the answers, for someone to tell them who they are supposed to be, what they are supposed to do and how to do it. They are always seeking the right way, the perfect way. They never feel as if they are doing good enough or even if they are enough.

That’s why there are so many articles like “The 10 things you must do for a clean house”, “the best way to improve your marriage”, or “top 5 ways to train your child”. There is always someone willing to tell us the “best way”, because there are so many of us searching for that “best way.”

I know, because I have been there. I have felt like I wasn’t doing enough, like I was failing at so many things. Sometimes at everything. I have felt like I was the only one that didn’t have it all together. I felt like a failure and I felt alone.

Dear sister, let me tell you right now – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You don’t need to keep searching for the perfect way. There is no perfect way. There’s just not! No matter what you are doing, there is no perfect way to do it. There is no best way. There are so many ways, because there are so many of us. We are all different – praise God! Our families are all different. Our homes, our lifestyles, our careers, our hobbies – they are all different. And do you know what, God created us that way. He wants us to be different. He wants us to find our own way. He wants us to be ourselves. Yes, ourselves. You be you and I’ll be me. I’ll keep my house clean the way I want, and you keep your house clean the way you want. How does that sound? Sounds kind of freeing doesn’t it?

Let me tell you a secret, it is. It is such freedom to just be myself. God is teaching me this lesson. I wish I could say He has taught me this lesson, but I’m a little stubborn and I still need reminding – often.  Sweet child of God, He wants you to learn it too. He loves you. He made you. He made you who you are. He doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t make flaws, you are perfect in His sight. You are perfectly you. Soak that in for a moment. Reread it if you need to. I’ll wait…..

I want you to really, really get this. You are enough just the way you are. You are the best mom for your children, the best wife for your husband, and the best keeper of your home. Stop tearing yourself down and stop comparing yourself to others. Just. STOP.

Yes, strive to be better…in Christ. Never stop growing in Christ. Always seek to be more like Him. But for the love of all things, stop trying to be like Mrs. Perfect across the road (or probably more like across the blog). When your heart is focused on Christ, when you are drawing nearer to Him, the rest will fall into place. Trust me, it just will.
When you learn that it is okay to be you, to be real, you can’t even imagine the blessing it is. Others will be drawn to you, because they will see that you are real, that you are honest. They will feel free to be real too. They won’t feel judged, they will feel loved. Do you know why? Because once you accept yourself, you are free to accept others just as they are too. You won’t judge them anymore, because you’ll know that just like you, they aren’t perfect. None of us are. (except in God's eyes)

My prayer is that we will learn to live in the freedom of Christ. The freedom of knowing that we are His and nothing will ever lessen His love for us. The freedom of being who He created us to be. Let’s lay down the bonds of comparison and guilt and instead, live in the freedom and grace of being a child of God.

If all of those how to articles help you draw closer to God and be a better wife or mom, then by all means let God use them to speak to you. But for goodness sake, do not buy into the lie that we all have to do it (whatever it is) the same way, because we don’t. Read posts and be encouraged, learn different ways of doing things and find what works best for you and your family, but blow the chaff away and let it go.  

I pray you have been encouraged to be yourself, to be free.



To see my next post for practical examples of this, go here.

**be sure to see my link ups page to see which party this post might be linked to


  1. Rashel, what a great post! I so easily fall into the comparison trap. It's so easy to fall into when social media is full of the so called "perfect" way to homeschool, cook, decorate your home, be a godly wife & great mom, and so on..... Pinterest is one place on social media that I tend to compare myself with other women. I come away thinking if only I could do this or make that then my family & my home & myself included would be so much better, so much happier. I know that this is not true, real happiness can only come thru my walk with the Lord. I like what you said that once we accept ourselves as we are we will accept others as they are & not judge.
    If I don't accept who I am in Christ, then how can I minister to my children to be themselves, to be proud of who they are & where they come from? I have a 11 yr. old daughter who is going thru the "I just want to fit in" stage. We have been talking a lot about this lately. I never thought much about what kind of example I was setting for her in this area. A couple of Sundays ago I came home from church complaining & comparing myself to some of the other women. I was putting myself down in front of my family. I know that satan was trying to drag me down that day & I did a good job of letting him.
    Thank you for your honesty & keeping things real, those are the reasons why I continue to read your blog post. I hate reading blogs where everything is so called perfect, because then I fall into the guilt trip/comparison trap again! Have a wonderful week & God bless you & your family.

    1. Jenny, first, thank you so much for your sweet words about my blog and my posts. I appreciate it so much!! Second, I'm so glad you were able to see what Satan was doing. It is such a real battle and we need to remember that, it is a battle! Our children do look to us as an example, no matter what we are trying to teach them. It is great you recognize this and are working to show them Christ, but also being real and letting them see that we all mess up sometimes. Thank you for being a returning reader and for taking time to leave me a comment ❤

  2. Hello, what a great post, very encouraging to anyone who reads it. The good Lord made us all different, and we must go on with what he gives us each and everyone of us in our own situations. Have a wonderfully Blessed day. Woo xx. ps not sure if I've posted on your blog before.

    1. Patricia, thank you! Yes, He did makes us different and like you said, it's so important to just embrace that. Thank you so much for taking time to leave me a comment!

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  3. You are right--this is such a freeing thought. We are all made differently, and we need to stop comparing and judging. Thanks so much for linking this post up to Fitness Friday on Drops of Learning. I hope to see you back again tomorrow!

    1. Thanks Miranda! I do plan to be back to Fitness Friday soon!