Do you ever have
those times that you just know God is trying to show you something, trying to
teach you a lesson? Just recently this happened with me, again. It seemed like
everywhere I turned, He was showing me what His word says about worrying versus
trusting God. At first, I just felt Him nudging me that way, putting it on my
heart - all the aspects of trusting God.
My heart had really
been burdened about being real and open with others, just being myself and not
worrying about what the world thought. You already know this if you've read
some of my most recent posts. Well, in preparation for our church's upcoming IF
gathering I decided to pick up a book by one of the speakers and read it as a
way to get fired up and ready. The Lord directed me to Jen Hatmaker's book
"For the Love" and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love
this book! I really need to do a review post about it soon. Anyway, I was
talking to one of the other coordinators for our event and she said she was
reading the same book! We had both picked it up and started reading it about
the same time, not knowing the other one was doing the same thing. I love when
God does little things like that!
Then, my daughter and
I were asked to provide childcare at a local church during a Friday morning
women's bible study. This was the first time childcare was to be provided, so
we knew there was a chance we wouldn't have any children this time. We figured
we would just go back home if no one showed up, but one of the lovely ladies
leading the study gave us the book as a thank you for being there and asked us
to sit in on the study if no one arrived. Sure enough, no one showed up and we
stayed for the study. It is a 12 week study on calming your anxious heart, not
worrying but instead, trusting God. A lot of it lined up with what I had been
reading in "For the Love"!! Okay Lord, I think you are hinting at
something.
The next evening we
had our regular weekly home bible study group, we call it fellowship. It is
just a group of us that get together each week at someone's home, eat dinner
and one of us leads a bible study (occasionally we watch a movie or have game
night). Guess what the bible study was about?! Yep, worry. I was thinking, okay
Lord, I get it, you are definitely trying to get my attention on this. The
funny thing is that I honestly didn't think I worried that much. I mean yeah, I
do the normal mom worry about her children when they go somewhere, etc., but I
thought I had really grown in the area of not worrying over the past few years.
Obviously, God thought I needed a little refresher course!
In my little bitty
scope of the world, I'm thinking God is trying to teach me not to worry about
my family and what may or may not happen to them. Stop thinking I need to pray
"please keep them safe Lord" every time one of my teenage sons drives
off. Or "please return him home to us this evening Lord" when my husband
leaves for work. Now, let me stop for a minute and say that within the last few
months in our community that we have had two young women lose their husbands
and suddenly become widows, as well as a young 15 year old girl being killed in
a car accident. It really makes you stop and think just how suddenly loved ones
can be taken from us - so I'm sure I had been praying those little prayers for
safety much more frequently the last couple months. This was the lesson I
thought I was supposed to be learning, "Stop worrying about them. Even if
something were to happen, I am here for you.
"Do not be
anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let
your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
I was wrong. God was
preparing me for something else, something that completely changed my
perspective.
But God knew. He knew
I needed to be grounded in this lesson of trusting God before I discovered...
my 16 year old had
not given his life to Christ like we thought, and what was worse was that he
wasn't sure he wanted to.
Heartbreak. What?
Why? I don't understand! At all!!
I cried. I prayed. I
asked my son questions he couldn't answer.
My prayer went from
"God, please keep him safe" to "God, please don't let him die
before He accepts you as his Savior".
Desperate prayers.
More desperate than I have ever felt. Ever.
Never in my life had
I wanted something for someone so badly. Never had I felt so much urgency for
the lost. Never had I understood more clearly how desperately God wants his
children to accept him.
God didn't just want
me to learn to trust Him in all things, He wanted me to learn compassion for
the lost. To feel the urgency of sharing the gospel with others.
I will share the rest
of this story in my next post, because I want to share the details of it and
this post is already getting rather wordy.
However, I won't
leave you hanging ~ praise God, my son did give his life to Christ!
I hope you will click
over to the next post as I continue the story and share how it happened and what God taught me.
Blessings my friends,
What a beautiful story. I find it extremely difficult as a mother and wife to stop worrying about everything. I've gotten way better, but I keep finding myself worrying. Over the past year, God has also been trying to teach me to lean on him more. To simply give him all of my fears. To trust in him fully and completely. It takes a lot of practice. But I don't know if I'll ever stop worrying completely. I'm happy for you that you stopped and listened to God's prompting and that your heart was somewhat prepared for what was coming. I'm also very happy that your son did eventually give his life to Jesus. That's incredibly wonderful!!!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, it definitely takes lots of practice! I don't know if I will ever be completely worry free either, but I do hope to continually get better in this area. Thank you so much for stopping by and for your sweet words!
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